Of course, THE BEST way to find out about the Intracoastal Waterway (aka ICW, aka “the ditch”) IS TO GO CRUISE IT! But… alas, most of us will have to settle on this: The Wikipedia description of the Intracoastal Waterway. Briefly, it’s a big salt-water “ditch” that runs from the Northeast down to Florida and around to Texas. yeah it’s big and long and tedious. If you own a boat and need an ICW captain to get it moved, call me because we have a lot to discuss and we can make the trip efficiently and with grace.
A lot of people use “the ditch” to move their boats from North to South during the Fall and back again in the Spring. Usually it’s a 30-40 ft slow moving (9 knots) fuel eater that may not be able to make the journey offshore. Maybe it has to dock every night and get fuel every day. For some it’s just FUN! So why not use it and enjoy it! Along the way: go slow zones, bridges, people’s houses, commercial docks, bigger ships, sailboaters, kayakers, fisherpeople and other unforeseen obstacles. Everything else IS FANTASTIC! Well, it’s ALL Fantastic! Even the chills and thrills of currents and wind and weather… IT’S ALL GOOD! But the SCENERY? It is OFF the CHARTS A W E S O M E !!! It’s at the top of every boaters’ Bucket List! .. to cruise the ICW… or the Big Loop which ties in the Great Lakes and Mississippi river! WOW!
Me? Well I like “other peoples’ boats.” So why not use their boat to see the ICW? AND get PAID to DO IT! LOL! YEAH! And, I have! And there’s a LOT to it. So let me share some of the fun and misery you go through when you move a boat long distance. It’s not all butterflies and rainbows! Nature can Kill You. Or maybe just wound you but you get the picture.
The ONLY way to make this ICW trip work best… is to PLAN EVERYTHING that has to do with the overnight stops and fueling. YOU HAVE TO DO THAT. I have had one particular good run from Norfolk to Charleston that went as follows thanks to planning. Planning was tedious because I, as in the captain, have to know ALL of the stops along the way using math, charts and online tools to figure out speed, distance and estimated times through the ICW. It’s kinda like a video game though, you don’t “really” know what’s going to get in your way… so… Plan B stuff is required when Plan A didn’t pan out. And you ALWAYS need a Plan B.
Day 0 – Planning. So I get the job. The new owner of a 36ft Carver wants to move it down the ICW to Charleston. Simple enough. Let’s just jump on and go. Some captain’s do that and just charge for everything that gets done ad hoc as time goes along with no consideration for costs. Just imagine getting calls every hour from a captain that wants more money to fix something you don’t really know is broke. I’ve met a couple like that. They don’t get any repeat business and good luck getting a referral after the job. A knowledgeable client knows that a lot of questions have to be answered. Does the boat run ok? Is the fuel old? When did it last go over 10 miles? These little exchanges render valuable info because “I was told it runs fine” just doesn’t cut it. Let’s skip a lot of this and assume, yeah, the boat will make it 10 miles. Does it have an anchor? Does the anchor puller-upperer (davit) work? Does it even have rope to pull up the anchor? So lots of stuff has to be on the boat in case the little monster decides to die in the middle of the ICW. Like an anchor, a radio (that works), and heat in case its Winter, etc etc. Lots of gear and safety equipment have to be on board. I have that list too, of course. Can the boat sustain life after docking? (LOL, I like creature comforts like some kind of bed). Can I go #2 and flush? The goal is to keep moving and not stopping for nature breaks. I guess I can hold it until the end of the day, huh? I may have to get a hotel room every night if the boat isn’t set up for bed and head (the potty). Oops! more money. sorry. Next time buy a better boat or fix it so it’s capable of running down the “ditch” without so many stops. Where are the fuel docks? Where are the marinas? Do I have to have a reservation to park on the dock? Oh yeah! Fortunately the ICW Waterway Guide has a lot of that info (kinda like an Good Sam book for RV’ers). You have to call all marinas in advance and make your planned arrival time, name and boat known to the Dock Master. And they may be full! And they close at 5pm! And they are closed on weird days. Day 0 planning takes a lot of time! Do I get paid for that? Nada. It’s Pro Bono. Many boat owners don’t care enough about planning to pay for it so I just build it into the overall total somehow. Gas money… and all that… who pays? Well I do, on my credit card and the owner reimburses me. Or, I get the owner’s credit card… after all I have his/her boat! duh! So the Day 0 stuff happens for several days… more like three Day 0’s. If you knew all what I go through to plan ahead… did you really made it this far in this post? It’s a LOT of planning that has to happen and it can be fun engaging other people and building the confidence that you really are… ready to go (make way).
Day 1 – Oops! So Day 1 arrives for me, on the boat, with my gear clothes cooler toothbrush etc. Usually it’s like two big lockers and a duffle bag and a 50qt cooler. You have to bring safety gear… remember? Next: Let’s crank up the beast! Hmmm… not starting huh? That’s the 1st sign this isn’t going to go well. Go check the batteries, check the oil level(s), are their engine belts that need replacing, stuff I didn’t get to see in advance but was told… oh they’re fine! smh lol wtf. Moving on, we check out the bed… it’ll do. Does the #2 device flush? It better! Or I need to go get a porta-potty for the voyage? I start making my store list, West Marine loves me ha ha!! Radio ok? No? Can’t go down the ditch without a radio, sorry. Might need two, one for each helm (upper, lower). Does the steering work? Does it go into gear Rev and Fwd? One time I had the port motor fail and 20 mins later the starboard engine transmission failed! Yep, anchor time! I’m stuck in the ditch. Mechanical issues aside… Well, I have my list of last minute equipment that the owner failed to have on day 1 ready to go, so off to the store(s) (I may have to return my rental car, or I uber). Day 1 may morph into 2 days to put fixes in to “start” the trip. All billable of course. I have time and a credit card so I’ll do fine in a pinch. When time I can take the rental car to the drop off and uber back to the boat.
Day 2- Drum Roll! Off we go! Cast off and shove her into gear! We are planning on 80 to 100 miles per day if all goes well. We’ll plan to stop at Jim Bob’s Marina between 4 and 5 if we make it that far. Jim Bob assured me that he has a place to park (called a slip) and that I just need to call ahead about an hour in advance. Typical protocol. Call on the cell or hail on Channel 16, got it. Got diesel? Got GAS? Gas is hard to find at some salt-water marina’s. Isn’t that surprising? If we don’t get there by closing time, we’ll have to fuel up next morning which could put us a bit behind… wait and see, no choice, may need a Plan B! Think about that and make calls to be sure… gotta do it. So now the FUN BEGINS! We get to sit back, enjoy the ride, take in the views and turn up the tunes! HECK YEAH! WE BE CRUZIN! I have sandwich stuff, Mountain Dew, beef jerky, apples, pretzels, … dinner will be close by after we dock later. My job? Don’t hit anything and keep the boat off the bottom! Roll on in-between the ICW markers. Slow down when traffic approaching ahead or when we enter a no-wake zone. Our pace, 9 to 12 knots maybe more in big open stretches. Bridges can be low or high, any low bridge is listed in my Waterway Guide with the times when they open so we may slow down to conserve gas to just make the bridge opening times. Keeping still in the middle of the ICW waiting for a bridge to open is a bit of an art. But it’s also a good time to sit back and snack!
Day X – more Ooopsies! So I watch the temperature gauges because it’s the first sign we’re in trouble with the engines. It can be many things… a belt is usually #1 or a leaky fuel pump. Both require us to pull over to a dock where we can get a mechanic in to fix it. A battery can peter out. Same delay tactic, find a dock suitable to work from. Oh, do we have tow insurance? Yep, I do, but the owner needs to have it also to keep cost down. Oil in the bilge? Running low on oil now too? Big issue! Mechanic territory. So, we scoot along and fix stuff as we go. Usually a fix means a day or two delay at a dock so we can go have fun and enjoy that time (while the mechanic does his/her thing) because… YOU DON’T NEED TO WORRY! Go have fun, the ICW is going to work you to death if you let it! Walk between the rain drops! Go Have FUN! You can’t always stick to Plan A so Plan B is usually call someone else to fix it and go have fun! Issues aside, you have LOTS of scenery to take in and feeling the rumble of the engines purring along at 9 knots is truly a pleasure!
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly – Every INCH of the ICW is filled with something to see. Bird life, other peoples’ boats, the radio traffic, dodging weather and avoiding stiff currents, watching the navigation tools and dealing with some unknowns… Covid kicked a lot of butts in the marine business. There are a LOT of marinas that are no longer open. You have to find other places sometimes and they are full when you get there. Same for hotels, you may not get that room you reserved because you were late getting there or you didn’t get enough lead time on a Plan B Oopsie stop. But all in all the sights and sounds and merry-go-rounds are worth every minute because it’s The ICW. Once these to-do’s are complete, it’s SMOOTH SAILING… or motoring… and that’s what it’s ALL about.
Day Z – We made it! All hail the Captain! We only spent $4000 more than we planned, we stayed off the sandbars, we discovered a few new marinas, we saw Eagles and Herons and Turtles and breaching fish and Alligators and huge flocks of birds… we ate more than any human should, the seafood dinners were A W E S O M E… and we STILL have a list of things to fix… BUT WE MADE IT! So THAT’s what it’s like on the ICW.
Aren’t you glad you own a boat? -Capt G
